Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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