Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
