***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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