i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
