Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
