question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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