she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
