4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
