I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
