hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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