i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
