i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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