fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize