Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize