come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
