so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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