whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
