Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize