i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
