wanna go halves on a baby?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
