ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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