She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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