this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
