My room smells like vodka and shame
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
