Your face is a jimmy john
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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