Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
