My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
