he wants to bone in the snuggie
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
