Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
