You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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