Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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