dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
