We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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