I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
