also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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