i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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