it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
