Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
