i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
