FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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