if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
