ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
