i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
