my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
