Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
