Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
