There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize