I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
