Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
