So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize