Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You work out of a Hotel?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ugly people sure do ruin things
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
