did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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