If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
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