If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
