Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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