another moral hangover. fuck.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize