11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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