Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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