ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
