I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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