The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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