You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
