I want to stick my p in your. b.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have post one night stand depression
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
