So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
