So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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