We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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