so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
