I'm really into asian looking animals
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
