I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
