Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
