So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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