Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
