weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
