I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my poor anus
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
