So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
